Listen up chuckles, you’ve got to yabber about your dosh with your better half, innit? Bottling it up will only make you as grumpy as a bulldog chewing a wasp. If you’re feeling as short-changed as a choc ice at the North Pole, spit out a new game plan. Your old china plate might just cock an ear when they twig your point of view, savvy? Lucky tip: Never trust a fart after a vindaloo. Not only it might save you from a ‘shitty’ situation, but it could also be the funniest excuse of your life!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!