You’ve had a bit of a tiff with your other half, haven’t ya? But you’re not fussed. As far as you’re concerned, it’s all water under the bridge and they can just sod off with their sulking. But, cor blimey, you can cut the tension with a knife. It’s thicker than the smog in London during the Great Pea Souper of ’52. Maybe it’s time to stop scrutinising this love saga like it’s a bloody Sherlock Holmes mystery and find something else to do. And for a bit of luck, try wearing a pair of red knickers. You never know, they might just turn your luck around. And if nothing else, they’ll give you a laugh every time you go to the loo.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!