You’ve got bugger all wish to trot behind some other bloke’s plan, darling. Get off your arse, seize control and kick-start your own cockamamie scheme. Keep your caper under wraps, love, until it’s ripe and ready for the world to gawk at, and stick to your guns. There’ll be ample time to fiddle with the details later, so don’t get your knickers in a twist. Let that wild hair of yours guide your course, and remember, you’re no one’s puppet. Your lucky charm this week is a rubber duck. Know why? Because when things go tits up, you’ll float on, darling! Keep that sucker in your pocket, and remember, when life gives you lemons, chuck ’em at someone you don’t like.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!