Oi, you! Yes, you! Pull your head out of everyone else’s arse and start focusing on your own for a change, will ya? You’ve been running around like a blue-arsed fly, bending over backwards, doing everyone else’s dirty work. It’s about time you thought about your own needs, mate. You’ve been a diamond, really. You’ve put in a cracking effort and done everyone a solid � you’re practically the bloody Mother Teresa of favours. But it’s time to put down the white flag, tell everyone to do one, and start putting yourself first. So, sling your hook, unfinished tasks. And next time someone asks for your help, especially if it’s something you’d rather avoid like a fart in a spacesuit, don’t hesitate to tell them to stuff it. Get your priorities in order, love. Your personal life and well-being need to be at the top of your to-do list, not buried beneath everyone else’s crap. And for your lucky charm, try carrying around a four-leaf clover. Not because it’ll bring you luck, but because it might remind you to stop bending over for everyone and start standing up for yourself. Plus, it’ll give you something to do with your hands now that they’re not constantly up someone else’s backside.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!