Well, ducks, strap in and prepare for a rollercoaster of a day! You’re going to need to squeeze in a bit of ‘me time’ amongst your hectic schedule of tea-drinking and apologising. There’s a task that’s been niggling at you like a bad case of piles – time to slap on some cream and sort it! Now let’s chinwag about that love interest of yours, you know, the one that’s been about as exciting as a wet weekend in Blackpool? Things have been frostier than a snowman’s codpiece lately. The question is, do you want to keep flogging this dead horse or are you ready to trade up for a newer model? Lucky charm: A four-leaf clover. Just don’t mistake it for your salad garnish – that’s the sort of luck you don’t need!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!