Before you throw yourself headfirst into some new cockamamie scheme, remember to keep a tight grip on your marbles and keep your knickers unknotted. Come lunchtime, some twit’s going to cock things up and you’ll have to drop your scone to run to their rescue. Your other half is going to start questioning whether you’re pulling their leg. Best get your charm on and convince them you’re as sincere as a vicar in a brothel, by teatime. Your lucky charm today is a four-leaf clover, although finding one in this weather is about as likely as finding a vegetarian in a butcher’s shop. Keep it in your back pocket for a bit of a laugh.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!