Well darling, there’s a bloody cracking chance for you to grab that swanky trinket you’ve been hankering after, isn’t there? And guess what? Despite it costing more than a night out with Elton John, it won’t leave you skint or selling your granny’s silverware. So why sit on your hands? Go on, treat yourself to that little bit of ‘how’s your father’ you’ve been eyeing up. And while we’re at it, your lucky charm this week is a union jack thong. Who knows, it may just tickle your fancy, or at the very least, give your bits a patriotic lift. Just remember, every time you hoist the flag, it’s another day you’re not in France!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!