Darling, the stars are whispering that there’s a bloody big change afoot, but you’re as confused as a chameleon in a bag of Skittles about how you feel. Brace yourself for a career move that’s going to rock your family’s world more than Auntie Mabel’s infamous Christmas Twerking incident. And if that isn’t enough, some family drama’s about to rear its ugly head, threatening to make your career path more unpredictable than a drunk squirrel on a tightrope. Expect a mix of experiences that’ll leave you feeling like you’ve eaten a sour sweet – you’ll wince, but you’ll also bloody love it. So buckle up, sunshine, because life’s about to get as wild as a hen party in Blackpool. And now for your lucky bit, your lucky colour is green. Not just any green, but that particularly hideous shade of green you see in 1970’s bathroom suites. Why? No bloody idea, I’m just the messenger. Try not to knock anyone’s eyes out with it, will you?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!