Don’t turn a blind eye to those blinking texts on your mobile just ’cause you reckon they’re chock-full of old tosh you’d rather not read. Grab the bull by the bollocks and deal with those nagging issues and quarrels once and for all. Chuck out the load of cobblers that’s been giving you the pip for donkey’s years, and you’ll be marching forward, chin up, into a future that’s brighter than Blackpool Illuminations on a Friday night, and brimming with success that’d make even Simon Cowell’s trousers rise. Lucky Phrase: “Every cloud has a silver lining.” And in your case, that lining is probably made of tin foil. But hey, at least it’ll keep your leftovers fresh, right?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!