Well, darling, it seems you’ve been busy flapping your wings in the professional pond, and it’s not just because of your constant arse-kissing and relentless “yes-boss” attitude, but also because Lady Luck’s taken a fancy to you. You’ve got more luck than a rabbit with a four-leaf clover stuck up its backside. So, chucklehead, remember not to strut around like a peacock on steroids, because luck has a funny way of buggering off when you start acting like you’re God’s gift to mankind. And for heaven’s sake, don’t let your new-found success turn you into a pompous git who alienates their loved ones. You’re already unbearable enough, thank you very much. And here’s a bit of advice for you, sunshine. Your lucky item this week is a humble tea bag. Who knows, if you’re fortunate, you might just learn how to make a decent cuppa for once. But remember, it takes skill, not just dropping it in a mug and hoping for the best – just like your career.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!