You’re finally chuffed to bits to give the boot to the same old, same old in your noggin, ain’t ya? After a right royal cock-up of recent events (that’s no Sunday picnic, I tell ya!), you’re all set to start afresh, mate. The past? That’s about as useful as a chocolate teapot, so bugger that! You’re all about charging ahead, like a bull in a china shop, towards a future as bright as a new penny! Now, for your lucky charm – it’s a bloomin’ rubber duck. Why, you ask? Well, if your life’s going down the drain, might as well have a laugh, right?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!