If you open your peepers and feel like you’ve been hit by a double-decker bus, don’t you dare put on the stiff upper lip and carry on with your plans. If you reckon you’re coming down with a bit of the summertime lurgy, neck some vitamin C and get your pasty self in the sun for a tick. A mate might try to flog you on the so-called magic of herbal teas. Your lucky phrase today is “Bollocks to the lot of it!” A really useful phrase when you’re feeling crap, especially if you’re being bothered by a pushy mate and their ruddy herbal teas.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!