Listen up, luv, here�s your daily giggle. Today, you’ll get your jollies from pottering about like some domestic goddess. Whether you’re slapping some soggy dough about, pretending you’re bloody Monet with a few wilted daffodils, or slapping paint on the walls like a common decorator, you’ll end the day feeling like you’ve actually accomplished something. Shocking, I know, considering your usual lazy arse. A bit of advice, darling, your lucky item today is a rubber duck. Don’t ask why, just embrace the absurdity. Maybe it’ll keep you afloat when you’re drowning in your own incompetence.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!