Today’s horoscope reading goes a bit like this: You know that saying, ‘patience is a virtue’? Well, today it’s more like ‘patience is a bleeding nuisance’. Those little buggers of life that usually seem about as important as a chocolate teapot, well today they’re lining up perfectly with your latest whims and fancies. It’s like a bloody miracle, innit? And, speaking of miracles, some amorous escapades will lead you to heights of joy you’ve never known. It’s like winning the lottery without buying a ticket. Time to pop the corks and let the confetti fly, love! Lucky charm for the day: A four-leaf clover. Not because it’s particularly auspicious but because finding one of those buggers is about as likely as you sticking to a diet beyond the first week. A little effort never killed anyone, did it?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!