Cor blimey, seems like your collective caper’s gone tits up! Been playing Mother Teresa to the numpties cocking up your plans, have you? Everyone’s entitled to a cock-up or two, but these muppets are making it their bleeding hobby. Not learning a bloody thing, are they? Once you’ve sorted this dog’s dinner, you’ll be chuffed to bits, I reckon. And here’s a nugget of wisdom for you: Your lucky phrase is “Bob’s your uncle”. Chuck it around a bit, and see if it doesn’t help sort out this circus. Just remember, Bob might be your uncle, but he ain’t gonna fix this mess for you!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!