Bolt out of your drab rut or grab hold of a nutty new lifestyle to pump some fresh air into your dreary existence, love. It’s about blinking time you drop that blinkered view you’ve got about yourself, it’s as narrow as a dieting supermodel’s waistline. You’ve got the potential to be anything, from a royal pain in the backside to a superstar, so stop moping about and get on with it. And don’t you dare forget it, or I’ll come over and remind you with a smack. Your lucky charm is a rubber chicken. Why? Because it’s as ridiculous as your current life choices. It might just make you laugh enough to realise that.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!