Blimey, you’ve ridden through your challenges like a one-legged man at a bum-kicking contest, haven’t you? Well, you’re about to feel as refreshed as a cucumber in a woman’s prison because your days of suffering are about to scarper. You’re on the cusp of seeing a glimmer of hope twinkling in the distance like a naff disco ball in a dodgy nightclub. There’s an offer coming your way, as tempting as a kebab on a drunken night out, but something’s giving you the heebie-jeebies. Maybe it’s your gut, or maybe it’s last night’s curry, but either way, sometimes it’s worth listening to that little voice in your head. Unless it’s telling you to have another pint. Then, definitely ignore it. Your lucky item is a rubber duck. You’re probably wondering why. Well, you know what they say about ducks – they always stay afloat, and they don’t give a quack. So embrace your inner duck and keep paddling on.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!