Blimey! There’s a right old windbag who’s getting on your wick so much, it’s like trying to keep a fart in a spacesuit. No need to put up with this codswallop from anyone, mate, regardless of how many gold chains they sport around their neck. You deserve the same level of respect that you dish out, or else you can bugger off outta there faster than a whippet with a bum full of dynamite. Lucky phrase for you: “Keep your chin up!” I reckon that’s the only way you’ll escape the stench of their bullsh*t, mate.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!