Blimey, it looks like you’re about to strike a corker of a deal, either in the office or the bedroom, that’ll lighten your load quicker than a vindaloo after a night at the pub. With your other half mopping up the rubbish you can’t be arsed with, you’ll have all the time in the world to faff about with your artsy fartsy nonsense. And once you’ve stopped navel-gazing long enough to notice the world around you, you might even find yourself in a generous mood, tossing out favours like a drunken sailor on payday. Your lucky phrase today is “Bob’s your uncle” – remember, when in doubt, just toss that out. It’s as useful as a chocolate teapot but at least it’ll get a laugh.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!