Blimey, ain’t you in for a treat! Your favourite partner in crime, your better half, your ‘ball and chain’ is about to ramp up the fun factor in your life. You’ve got the green light to behave like a reckless teenager, all thanks to your darling ‘partner in grime’. It’s high time to chase those dreams you’ve been harbouring since you were a wee nipper, the ones that’ve been gathering dust next to your Barry Manilow records. Don’t worry, your significant other will be right there with you, probably with a look of pure terror on their face, but still, they’re there! Now, onto the lucky bit: Your lucky charm for the week is a horseshoe. Don’t ask me why, it just is. I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them with a heavy dose of sarcasm and a side order of cheek. Don’t forget to carry it around with you, you might just need it to knock some sense into that dream of yours.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!