Listen up, you absolute muppet. There’s a business offer knocking on your door, and it�s time to put down your pint and give it a proper look-see. This is a golden ticket, a chance for you to become the brainiac in a field that tickles your fancy more than a feathered boa at a burlesque show. You’re about to get a shiny new bit of paper, a certificate or licence, something to brag about at the pub, that’ll boost your job prospects to the moon and back. You won’t be begging for work like a dog at the butcher’s, oh no. You’ll be swanning about, picking and choosing projects like you’re the bloody Queen of England. So pull up your socks and get on with it. Lucky charm for you? A horseshoe. Not the one from your Uncle’s pony that kicked the bucket last year, mind you. A new one. There’s no such thing as second-hand luck, darling.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!