Blimey, responsibilities are stacking up like pancakes at a fat camp. Whether you’re slaving away like a 17th century chimney sweep, spoon-feeding a relative who can’t tell the difference between their mouth and their arse, or playing UN peacekeeper in the domestic war zone, you’re about as knackered as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest. Time to get your crystal ball out, darling and plot some R&R. Spread the misery around a bit, delegate some jobs, and give yourself a breather. Now, here’s a bit of wisdom for you: your lucky phrase is “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” Repeat that every time you’re tempted to take on more than you can handle. It’s about as useful as a chocolate teapot, but at least you’ll have a chuckle.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!