Do us all a favour, darling, and keep your neb out of other folks’ malarkey. Avoid yabbering about the dosh, especially if you get the whiff that some cheeky bugger might try to tap you up for a loan. If you get your knickers in a twist over this, it’ll be like trying to untangle spaghetti after a three-day bender – a bloody nightmare! Now listen, your lucky charm this week is a brass penny. Why, you ask? ‘Cause it’s about as useful as a chocolate teapot, just like your financial advice, sweetie!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!