Blimey, darling, it’s time to take a breather from those tiresome family squabbles – you know, the ones that are winding you up tighter than a girdle on a Baptist minister’s wife at a pancake breakfast. You’re stubbornly clinging to that work task like a dog on a bone, despite the fact that your workmates have thrown in the towel quicker than a streaker at a convent. Bugger it, you’ll be there, hammering away until you find the right way to crack it, like a randy rooster in a hen house. And wouldn’t you know it, some relative will suddenly have a lightbulb moment regarding a domestic problem, probably the same one who couldn’t find their own arse with both hands and a map. And your lucky phrase for the day is “Keep your knickers on!” – not particularly inspirational, but it might just save you some embarrassing moments at the office Christmas party. Now go forth and cause some chaos, you cheeky bugger.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!