Oi, look at you, destined for a cracker of a day, ain’t ya? Go on, spread that cheer around like it’s an infectious rash at a nudist beach. Why not scoff down a lunch with your mates – just make sure it’s not another dodgy kebab from that van round the corner, we all remember the aftermath of that little adventure. Get stuck into some communal shenanigans, maybe a nice game of naked twister, and watch that elation spread faster than a scandal in Buckingham Palace. Squeeze every last drop out of that cosmic good vibe juice that’s circling you like a shark round a bleeding surfer. Now, here’s a cheeky little nugget for ya – you’ll find your luck stuck to the bottom of a pint glass, so make sure you down it all! Just remember, it ain’t the beer that’s lucky, it’s the free peanuts you get with it.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!