“Steer clear of those berks who seem to be hell-bent on being a spanner in your works. Get a cricket pitch’s distance from those gits who’ve been pulling you down like a bag of bricks. You wouldn’t want to look like a right plonker, but keeping your pecker up in this dog’s breakfast of a situation is like trying to squeeze blood from a stone!” Lucky Charm: “Your lucky charm this week is a rubber chicken. Why? Because life’s a joke, darling, and sometimes you’ve got to be the one to squawk the punchline.” Remember, it’s just for fun, keep your wits about you and don’t take it too seriously!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!