Right, ‘ere we go darling, don’t just jump on every cheeky proposal like a rat up a drainpipe! Use that noggin of yours before you go signing your life away. Sure, some smooth talker’s idea might tickle your fancy, but hold your horses! There might be something even more titillating right around the corner, like a full English breakfast after a night on the lash! Your lucky charm is a pair of knickers fresh out the dryer. Don’t ask me why, it just is. Maybe it’s the promise of a warm bum, or maybe the universe has a sense of humour. Either way, keep it cheeky!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!