Alright, love, instead of being a lost salmon swimming upstream, try having a bit of a paddle with the tide for once. You know, like those old codgers who’ve actually got a clue about what they’re doing because they’ve been around the block a few more times than you. I know you’re about as fond of change as a hungover Brit is of a sunlit room, but sticking your head in the sand like an ostrich on a bad acid trip ain’t going to do your happiness any favours, mate. And as for those tossers you can’t stand, well, every now and then you’re just going to have to suck it up, buttercup. Because sometimes, life’s about as much fun as a nudist at a cactus convention, and you’ve just got to grin and bear it. Now, for your lucky phrase: ‘Every cloud has a silver lining.’ But remember, that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to go nicking the silverware at a cloudy funeral, you cheeky git!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!