Right, strap in love, here’s the crack. You’ve been living in a real-life episode of Fawlty Towers recently, haven’t you? Everything’s been going pear-shaped, like a bad botched boob job. Well, don’t fret your pretty little head no more, because it seems the dust has finally settled and we’re back to the humdrum monotony of your life. Hallelujah! Now, do us a favour and stop faffing about, there’s a backlog of personal to-dos piling up like dirty laundry after a nudist convention. Time to crack on, darling! And here’s a lucky phrase for you today: “Every cloud has a silver lining.” Remember this when life throws you lemons, or in your case, when life pelts you with rotten tomatoes. It’s a funny old world, innit?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!