Cor blimey, you’re all about the social butterfly routine, ain’t ya? Flapping your wings around, gathering up your mates for a right old knees-up. You’re just one pint away from a conga line, I swear. Along comes this bloke – or bird, we don’t judge – who’s got their peepers fixed on your… talents. You’re chuffed, aren’t ya? They’re giving you the big ‘un about how you’re the bee’s knees and how you could be the dog’s bollocks if you just… tweaked it a bit. Cheeky git. But you’re lapping it up, aren’t ya? You’re all ears and grins, ready to jump through their hoops. And that casual mate you’ve been chinwagging with? Looks like they’re worming their way into your inner circle. You’re such a soft touch, you are. By the way, your lucky item this week is a rubber duck. Why? Because you’re gonna need something to keep you afloat when your inflated ego bursts out of the blue. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!