Blimey, you’ve been whacking your noggin, sweating buckets and mulling over all things hearth and kin. After a chinwag with your motley crew of flatmates, you’ve all decided it’s high time to put into action those harebrained schemes you’ve been nursing. This is your golden ticket to get cracking on these madcap projects. Make the most of this chance, you daft sod. Your lucky item today is a rubber duck. Why? ‘Cause when the shite hits the fan, you’ll need something to keep you afloat, even if it’s just in your bathtub.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!