Your mate’s been acting more barmy than a bag of squirrels lately, leaving you gobsmacked and scratching your head. You’re as lost as a posh bloke in a greasy spoon, and it’s high time you tackled this nonsense head on. You’ve got to collar ’em, put them to the wall, and have a chinwag about their cockamamie antics. Chances are, you’ve been as blind as a bat in broad daylight to the signs, too busy with your head in the sand to notice. But, no more my friend, it’s high time for you to pull your finger out and face the music. Your lucky charm for today is a horseshoe, although, knowing your luck, you might end up with the whole bloody horse. Just remember, if you do, they eat like a horse too.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!