Blimey, your gaffer’s more open-minded than a Soho cabaret, promising to keep all the options on the table. So, if you’ve got any last-ditch ideas, lob ’em over. They’re so desperate, they might even give it a nod. Make sure you milk this jolly phase for all it’s worth, darling. Your ambition’s like a randy rooster on a spring morning, pecking away at everything that moves. You’ll have the upper hand over the rest of those dozy plonkers, just keep pecking… Oh, and remember, it’s not the size of the pecker, it’s how you use it! By the way, your lucky charm this week is a bottle opener. God knows you’re going to need it to survive the absurdity of it all. Call it ‘happy hour survival kit’, might even help you pop open a few opportunities!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!