Slow down there, love! You’re rushing around like a blue-arsed fly! You ain’t Usain Bolt, so stop acting like you’ve got a rocket up your jacksy. The only assignment you should be committing to is a date with your sofa. (And maybe binge-watch a bit of EastEnders, if you’re feeling wild. No judgement here.) Before you even think about job assignments, remember – your noggin’s not just a hat rack. Use it! Give it a good ponder, like you would over choosing your next pint at the pub. Now, onto your health. I know you’d rather down a pint than a glass of water, but hydration is key. I�m not talking about soaking your liver in lager, dear. And as for vitamin C, you need it more than a fish needs chips. So, squeeze an orange into your gin and tonic if you must. You never know, it might just keep the doctor away. Or at least, keep you out of A&E on a Friday night. Lucky charm: A pint glass. Because there’s nothing luckier than a full glass, right? (Unless it’s full of cheap cider. In that case, you’re on your own, mate.)

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!