Hold on to your knickers, love! There’s a storm brewing up in your tea cup, and it’s not the type you can dunk a biccy in. You’re going to hear some news that’ll rattle your scones more than a poorly made Victoria sponge. So, before you go all ‘Gordon Ramsay’ on us, take a bloomin’ deep breath and count to ten… or maybe even twenty. You’ve got more choices than a pick ‘n’ mix at a sweet shop, so don’t start acting like you’ve been served a soggy bottom at the Bake Off. Yeah, it’s a bit of a sticky wicket, but you’re going to come out of this smelling of roses… or at least, better than a used tea bag. For now, you might have to tighten your belt… not literally, you can still enjoy your fish ‘n’ chips. Just be a bit more frugal, less Harrods, more Poundland, you get me? Your lucky charm this week is a two quid coin… don’t spend it all at once, and remember, it’s luckier if you find it down the back of the sofa. Who knows, you might also find a half-eaten biscuit, that’s a meal and a half right there!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!