Blimey, you wouldn’t bother taking a few ticks from your oh-so-busy schedule to lend a hand to the sprogs in the family, would ya? Betwixt changing nappies and dodging flying food, you’ll find your imagination running wilder than a fox in a chicken coop. Those little tykes are like a double shot of espresso for your creative juices, who knew? So slap on a grin, puff out your chest and be the beacon of positivity they need, you miserable sod. Now, here’s a little nugget of wisdom for you: “A pint’s a pound the world around.” That’s your lucky phrase, mate. Might not make much sense now, but after a few pints, it’ll be your bloody mantra. Besides, it’s a cracking excuse to down another one, innit?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!