Cor blimey! You’ve got a love interest that’s tickling your fancy more than a ticklish ferret in a feather duster factory. The fastest way to your ticker ain’t through your stomach, but your noggin. You’ve got yourself a bit of a chinwagger who could talk the hind legs off a donkey, but bloody hell, their chat is more varied than the contents of a car boot sale. You couldn’t be more entertained if they juggled flaming hedgehogs while singing ‘God Save the Queen’ backwards. Now, you lucky sod, your charm is a rubber duck. Why? Because life, much like a bathtub, can be a load of old bubbles and you need something to keep you afloat. Plus, it squeaks when you poke it, and if that doesn’t make you chuckle, you’re a lost cause, ain’t ya?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!