Blimey, you might just bump into that old flame of yours at some shindig or booze-up. They’ll be giving you the old puppy dog eyes, all keen as mustard to pick up where you two left off. Now, if you’ve got some new squeeze on the go, listen ‘ere, don’t be a daft apeth! Keep hold of what you’ve got, and stop being a muppet, pining for what didn’t work out the first time. Your lucky charm is a pair of knickers. Yes, you heard me right. Not for wearing, mind you, but for waving at that old flame. That should cool their ardour!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!