Listen up, mate, it seems there’s some posh bloke or bird who’s going to knock some sense into that thick skull of yours, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll consider learning something new to stop being such a bloody liability at your job. They’ll probably have you studying something so obscure, you’ll need a map and a compass to find your way out of it. And that’s not all, darling. You’ll find yourself neck-deep in all sorts of mystic mumbo-jumbo. You’ll be reading tea leaves, speaking to spirits, and doing the hokey-pokey with the universe! Your lucky charm is a rubber duck. I know, it sounds quackers, but apparently, it’s set to bring you all sorts of luck. Just don’t take it into the bath with you, you cheeky bugger. It’s not that kind of rubber duck!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!