Listen up, darling, you might find your job application dropped faster than a hot potato at a vegan roast. But don’t let that get your knickers in a twist! You’re after more than just a plump pay packet, you’re on the hunt for a bit of the old job satisfaction too, aren’t you? So pull up your socks, stick your chest out, and charge down the road less gloomy. You’ll feel better than a hen in a harem, I promise. With a bit of that old British stiff upper lip, you’ll be frolicking about in a field of job offers before you can say “unemployment benefits.” And here’s a cheeky little tidbit for you: Your lucky item is a rubber duck. Why? Because, darling, when you’re up the creek without a paddle, you might as well have a duck to keep you company. It might not help you get a job, but it’ll give you a good laugh when you’re in the bath drowning your sorrows in bubbles and gin.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!