Listen up, you cash-strapped old bean. Some cheeky blighter is itching to seal the deal on some fiscal or legal rigmarole. You, my friend, are flapping about like a cod out of water. Don’t let these pushy sods buffalo you into a choice that will leave you sobbing in your gin and tonic, blubbering “Why didn’t I listen to Joan?”. Contemplate the possible fallout from all your decisions – don’t just toss a coin and hope for the best, you daft prat. Scheme ahead and make sure you’re as cosy as a cat on a hot tin roof with your obligations. Now, for your lucky charm: A four-leaf clover. Yes, right, like you’ll ever find one of those. Maybe if you spent less time worrying about your wallet and more time frolicking in a field, you might get lucky. But I wouldn’t hold your breath, darling!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!