You’re about to dive head-first into the unknown like a blindfolded bulldog at a sausage party, so brace yourself for some top-notch, eye-opening shenanigans. You�re likely to find yourself with more time on your hands than a watch thief at a Swiss convention, so use it to hang out with your loved ones. It’s been longer than the Queen’s reign since you’ve been this chilled – you’re practically a human ice lolly! Lucky charm: A four-leaf clover. But let’s face it, if you had that kind of luck, you wouldn’t be in this mess, would you?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!