Your chum or some other beloved berk is going to be as elusive as a decent cup of tea in America. Don’t get your knickers in a twist because they’re busy with their job or canoodling with others. They might be shackled to their desk or playing the agony aunt for a moping mate. Back off a bit, you clingy bugger, it shows you’re not completely mental. Your lucky phrase for the day is “Bob’s your uncle!” Though, heaven forbid Bob is actually your uncle. The man’s a right plonker.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!