Cor blimey, mate, it looks like your gadgets and gizmos are having a bit of a giggle. Don’t let them wind you up, be as bendy as a bendy bus, especially around those mates of yours who’ve got the attention span of a goldfish. Look, you and your best bud or bit of fluff might be at loggerheads more often than a pair of rutting stags, but don’t mean you’re as compatible as a fish and bicycle. Now for your lucky bit: Your lucky charm is a rubber duck. Yes, you heard it right, a bloody rubber duck. Why? Because life’s a bath and it’s about time you started floating above the crap.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!