Cor blimey, the doling out of your old Aunt Maud’s loot or some legal hoo-ha has been put on the back burner again. You’ve had more cock and bull stories than a politician on speed dial about why this is dragging its heels, and quite frankly, you’re starting to question if the so-called experts involved can even tie their own shoelaces. Maybe it’s high time you nab yourself a real-deal legal eagle, one that doesn’t spend half the day hunting for their wig and gavel. Lucky charm: A rubber chicken – because nothing screams ‘I mean business’ like a squeaky bird. Plus, it might be the only thing that gets a laugh out of your lawyer.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!