Right, listen up, love. You’re still having a proper mare with this chinwagging business, aren’t you? It’s like you’re trying to avoid stepping in a dog’s dinner at every turn. You’re so busy trying to sidestep any little landmines, it’s a wonder you haven’t tripped up and face-planted the pavement yet. Don’t get your knickers in a twist over trying to be spot on all the time, darling. Just let the chips fall where they may, or in your case, let the custard fly where it wants. Just have a natter, and try not to muddle your words too much, eh? Honesty and clarity, that’s what you’re aiming for – even if it feels like you’re aiming for the loo and hitting the bathtub. Now, here’s a little lucky charm for you: A four-leaf clover. But knowing your luck, you’ll probably find a three-leaf one and trip over a rabbit hole. Remember this mantra, love: “I am the dog’s bollocks at communication.” Repeat it until you believe it, but don’t say it out loud at the pub or you’ll get some right strange looks.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!