Blimey, if you’re not up to your eyeballs in bloody paperwork, sales and business dealings, then I’m the Queen’s poodle. You’ve got some work doozy that’s about as fascinating as watching paint dry, but you’ll be glad you stuck around for the show � it’s like EastEnders but without the drama. Mind you, don’t go signing any contracts without giving them the once over, unless you fancy getting shafted by some dodgy clause about your first born or something. And here’s a bit of a giggle for you: your lucky item is a rubber duck. Don’t ask why, it’s written in the stars or something. Give it a squeeze when you’re up the creek without a paddle, or just chuck it at the next prat who annoys you.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!