Right, listen up, you lot! If you’re harbouring any grand plans to schmooze your way into a new business venture or flog some dodgy goods, you might as well put your feet up and pop on the kettle. Not today, love! The stars are having a bit of a giggle at your expense, hinting that today’s about as good for business as streaking through a convent. Instead, they’re pointing you towards the nutters you call family. God knows why, but apparently they’re the ones who need your attention. So brace yourself, slap on a smile, and delve into the never-ending saga that is family affairs. Who knows, you might just survive without a single grey hair… or at least with your

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!