Right, listen up, you bunch of mugs. Those dreadfully dull meetings, team projects and those neighbourhood ‘get togethers’ (I’d rather stick pins in my eyes) are somehow going to lead to some fresh and thrilling shenanigans. Oh, the suspense is killing me. Not. Then there�s the matter of your life’s work, your career, or what passes for it. You’ve got some decisions to make that are as important as choosing the right wine to go with your fish and chips. Been dreaming of a steady pay packet, have you? Well, now’s your chance to grab it, just like a fat kid in a sweet shop. But remember, even if the grass looks greener on the other side, it might just be astroturf. Now, your lucky charm this week is a rubber chicken. Yes, you heard me right, a rubber chicken. It’s just as useful as your other plans and at least it�s good for a laugh. As for your lucky phrase, try this one on for size: “I’m as lucky as a turkey that’s escaped the Christmas rush.” Use it sparingly though, wouldn’t want to wear it out now, would we?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!