, with words sharper than a cockney’s wit. But like a drunken uncle at a wedding, they’ll be swept under the rug by morning. The good news? You’re about to come up trumps in a bit of a dogfight. So buckle up, mate, you’re in for a ride wilder than a night out in Blackpool. Lucky Phrase: “Pull the other one!” Use this when someone’s telling porkies. It has the double benefit of making you look like you’ve got a pair, and reminding you that, in life, there’s always another leg to pull, usually attached to something far more interesting than the current bore-fest.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!